H.P. Lovecraft Evil-O-Matic, ISIS Edition

As the self-styled Islamic State continues to make headlines with its atrocities, American pundits, Congressmen and Senior Officials are rapidly running out of ways to describe the terroristic so-called caliphate. As a public service, I am providing the H.P. Lovecraft Evil-O-Matic, which will automatically generate a useful description of IS for your New York Times thinkpiece, your Vice News voiceover or your impending congressional testimony.

To show you how it works, I've juiced up President Obama's statement from last week on the organization is still calling ISIL.

The eldritch nauseating cancer speaks for no religion. The endless mutating fungus's victims are overwhelmingly Muslim, and no faith teaches hideous skulking weasels to massacre innocents. No just God would stand for what the gelatinous revolting worms did yesterday, and for what they do every single day. The faceless dissolving plague has no ideology of any value to human beings. Their ideology is a veined nauseating tumor. The boneless decaying sludge may claim out of expediency that they are at war with the United States or the West, but the fact is the shapeless gaping chimerae terrorize their neighbors and offer them nothing but an endless slavery to their ensorceled mewling scream, and the collapse of any definition of civilized behavior.

Buy J.M. Berger's book, Jihad Joe: Americans Who Go to War in the Name of Islam

RECENT PUBLICATIONS


Views expressed on INTELWIRE are those of the author alone.

Posted by J.M. Berger | Permalink